daveysucks

 

well, i'm gonna be a dad.

the due date is december 3rd.

we're stoked.

i want to live a life worth writing about.  not just for the amusement, but for honesty, integrity, and straightforwardness.  

for some reason, every new year is a battle for me.  moreso than birthdays, even.  when i look back and see the things i have not accomplished and how much time i have completely wasted, it makes me very depressed and unsatisfied with my life.

i have changed a lot, some ways good.  others, well, i guess you can't have the best of both worlds.  adapting to new situations is one of the most important skills anyone could have, in my opinion.  i have never been one to enjoy routine, but for some reason, it now makes every day easier to wake up to.

for the longest time i was someone who had to be completely surrounded by large numbers of people to feel accepted.  for once in my life, though, i have realized that the only person you need to be completely happy with is yourself.  if you wake up and do not love yourself, then you will have a very hard time loving someone else.   you can not hide behind others and let them live life for you.  or think that the only way to live life is with many many friends.  i've been very fake to many people; i've lied and cheated my way through much of my life.  but for once, i can truly say that i am becoming happy, in it's truest form.

sometimes you have to be completely broken down to truly understand what you have and don't have.  and what's real or what's a figure of your stupid imagination.  it's a difficult thing to wake up one day and realize you didn't give your all in much of anything.

life doesn't have to be exciting and spontaneous all of the time for me anymore.  and instead of seeing that as a bad thing, i see it as an opportunity to enjoy life in a different aspect.

 i will soon begin to share my feelings of the world with the world, once again.